2 Corinthians 7:8-11

For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it--- though I did regret it, for I see that the letter grieved you, though only for a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves innocent in the matter.

2 Corinthians 7:8-11

Paul shifts his focus here to comment on his previous letter (likely 1 Corinthians) in which he spoke harshly (though not inaccurately) about the ungodliness in which the Corinthian Christians were partaking. He remarks here that though he did not enjoy grieving them as such, but feels great joy that his rebuke brought about repentance in them. Paul paints a picture of what it looks like to properly rebuke or correct another believer. While that would likely be an interesting topic to mine, I would rather choose to focus on v10 and its implications for our own lives.

For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. Paul gives us a powerful contrast between godly grief and worldly grief. It is particularly important for us today to understand the role grief plays both positively and negatively.

First, before we can properly address Paul’s statements here we must acknowledge that the Lord does indeed discipline us. “And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. … For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

In our current age we have been taught to accept a pacified God who loves too much to offend and cares too much to discipline. This does not reflect any Biblical understanding of the Lord but rather reflects our own shifting attitudes toward humanity and parenting. The Lord does love us. He does care for us, but he cares for us too much to leave us in the throes of our own misguided ways. He often (justly) allows the earthly consequences of our sin to lead us to repentance. He also divinely disciplines us to draw near to him. Ours is a God of both compassion and justice. Sometimes the most compassionate thing He can do for us is to discipline us.

With that established, let us compare the proper godly view of grief with the worldly, improper view of grief.

Godly Grief Leads to Repentance. Worldly Grief leads to depression.

Paul here contrasts godly grief and worldly grief. The main distinction he makes is that godly grief leads to repentance whereas worldly grief leads to death. When confronted with our sin either through the conviction of another human or the convicting of the Holy Spirit we have two choices: either we can accept the righteous rebuke and confess our sin or we can ignore the sin. We cannot however, ignore the grief. If we have indeed been convicted by the Holy Spirit which resides within us, we are left with the knowledge and weight of our own sin. The correct outlet for that weight is to lead us to repentance for “if we confess ours sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” This, indeed, is the very purpose of grief.

On the other hand, if we, having been loaded with the guilt and grief, do not bring ourselves to confess and repent of our sin, we set an unmanageable amount of burden upon our shoulder which we cannot and were never intended to bear. Only Christ is capable of carrying the weight of our sin. When we cannot accept the rebuke or when we cannot bring ourselves to ask for forgiveness (perhaps because we consider our sin too grievous to be forgiven) we embark in a condition that can only lead to depression. What other outcome is there if we bear the full weight of our sins ourselves?

We spend far too much of our lives like this, bearing the weight of our past sins and shame. The memories of our sins, which should instead lead us to praise the God willing to forgive them, drags us down into a crippling despair for which there is no escape except repentance.

Godly Grief leads to a right understanding of sin.

Godly grief leads us to understand that our sin, no matter how heinous, can be forgiven and redeemed by the sacrifice of Jesus. It is our relationship Him that allows our lives to even continue. Having been thus forgiven, we can (though it is not easy) live our lives in the newness of freedom in Christ. This is the economy of mercy: we bring the full measure of our sinfulness to the throne of God and Christ takes that measure upon himself. We are then those who have been forgiven much.

Worldly grief leads to a view of sin that is altogether inaccurate. Worldly grief emboldens sin by devaluing the sacrifice of Christ. A worldly grief makes sin too large for the blood of Christ to handle. It is too big for him. We, of course, would never say it this way, but our actions belie our words. When we carry with us the guilt because we believe that it is too much for God to forgive, we are, in essence, saying that Jesus wasn’t enough, that we need something more. When we carry with us the shame of our past lives and past choices, refusing to let them go, we only heap more and more guilt upon us for (as we all know) we still struggle with sin every day.

Godly Grief leads us back to the Lord.

The easiest way to tell if the grief we are feeling is godly or worldly is in the way it affects us. Godly grief will always lead us back to the Lord. Godly grief does not trivialize our sin or shift the blame. What it does however is convict us and remind us that we need to be constantly bringing our sins to the foot of the cross. We are debtors who incur more debt each and every day. We must constantly be returning to Jesus the guilt we cannot bear.

We can tell when we are behaving in an ungodly way when our grief pulls us further away from God. It may be that we feel we must perform some penance to again get in God’s good graces. It may be that we feel we cannot turn to Scripture for a time. It may be an inability to pray. While these emotions are natural and serve to convict us of the depth of our sin, we must never allow them to be carried out. Any inclination we have to turn away from God, even if our thoughts claim it is only for a short time, we must resist though our minds condemn us. Alternatively, we must repent and confess as soon as we feel the tinge of conviction. Whether than confession is to another human or only to the Lord, we must never allow ourselves to go out in the world with unconfessed sin. This can only lead to a further spiral of sinfulness and despair.

In conclusion, here are some tips to help avoid falling into worldly grief. (Note: these are true but not easy).

How can we combat worldly grief?

1.       Repent immediately

a.       Do not allow for ‘penance’ time. Don’t buy in that lie that you need some time away from God before you repent.

b.      Do repent sincerely. Involve others if necessary (easier said than done).

2.       Do not neglect God’s Word

a.       (never, never, never)

b.      Even if the words feel empty and void.

3.       Focus only on how you can love and serve the Lord today, not on how you have failed Him in the past.

a.       Don’t be ruled by regret. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret

4.       Only view your past failure in the context of God’s great grace (not on the failure of your own strength).