The Blessing of Delay

I have some pretty bad days. On the low days I often feel beaten down by the troubles of my life and the anxieties of my mind. There are many days that the victory is simply persevering; pushing through to another day. There are times when my own striving against sin seems to become a war of attrition, or worse --- a quagmire. There are nights I close my eyes pleading for the Lord’s power to get through another day.

In addition to the trials and temptations, I am particularly affected by the pains of the world and of those around me. I’ve always been this way, even before I came to know Christ I can remember attending a party where the guests were engaged in all sorts of licentiousness and promiscuity. Even in my pre-regenerate state I was overcome by the sin and evil present there. I knelt on the ground in pain for my friends. In fact it was this very sense of innate sinfulness of the world that led me later to seek Christ.

Similarly, I am affected by the pain and ungodliness of the world. Many days after hearing of war and famine; of precious men and women pursuing ungodly paths, I am stricken and tempted to despair. When the righteous are persecuted, oppressed, and ridiculed I ask: “How long Lord must we endure?” This is the thought I often return to:  a yearning for the day of reconciliation when we will see our Lord Jesus face to face; when all pain will be wiped away.

Perhaps, however, I am approaching this world all wrong. In 2 Peter we read: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” and later “count the patience of our Lord as salvation.” Could it be that in my weariness and dissatisfaction I am mistaking unhappiness for blessing? Perhaps in the fishbowl world of my own self-absorption I am missing the patience of God in light of my own trivial, temporary discomforts? In truth the fact that we are still in this world (and thus experiencing the pains that come with that) is evidence not of the Lord’s absence or forgetfulness but rather a testament to his patience and desire to see men and women saved. When I realize this, I am made aware of my own narrow selfishness and challenged to praise the Lord for his reticence rather than condemn Him for His perceived inaction. What would He be able to do through me if my eyes were open to my role in bringing about God’s purposes instead of clouded by my own pride?