Two Things about Superman

Here are just a couple of thoughts about Superman, who has become so ubiquitous that we can barely look at him objectively anymore.

So we all marvel at Superman’s x-ray vision. We envy it. It most certainly is useful in busting unsuspecting criminals (who were not wise enough to hide behind lead). Our more adolescent selves view it with much more lurid potential. But consider some of the more challenging aspects of possessing x-ray vision:

(Clark Kent walks into the Daily Planet office)

Perry White: Clark, you’re giving the presentation to the shareholders this morning. No arguments.

Clark: (meekly) You got it Mr. White.

(Clark stands at a podium in front of ten rows of suit and tie clad shareholders.)

Clark: Good morning shareholders.

(Clark looks down at the podium to check his notes and sees that… he is naked)

Clark: Nooooooo! Not again!! Oh, yeah right, x-ray vision.

I mean we get terrified if we have one dream about going into a high school classroom without clothes on. Superman has to deal will it every time he looks down at his own body.

Also….

The vision we have of Superman is this super buff All-American hero and I get that’s part of the appeal he was created for. At the same time, in many iterations of the classic hero, it is the yellow sun of earth that grants him many of his amazing powers. So, I mean, does he really have to be all that fit? I mean it’s good that he keeps himself in shape and looking good and all, but if he were, say, 250 lbs. with a beer gut and a double chin he’d still be able to fly, be impervious to bullets, fire heat vision, leap tall buildings, etc. Sure, he might lose something if he compares himself to other Kryptonians, but I mean he’d still be far superior to every human living on Earth. I wonder how our perception of the “Man of Steel” would change if he had just a bit of a paunch. Would Lois kind of glance up over her fork during dinner at Kal-El and give kind of a disapproving stare as he shoveled another helping of potato salad into his super-efficient Kryptonian gullet?

Standing for truth, justice, and the American way!