2 Corinthians 12:14-15

Here for this third time I am ready to come to you, and I will not be a burden to you; for children are not responsible to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. I will most gladly spend and be expended for your souls.

2^nd Corinthians 12:14-15

As Paul begins to wrap up his letter to the Corinthian Christians he restates his intentions to visit the young church. Though he had for some time intended on meeting with the church plant, he had been prevented from doing so. Now he reminds them of his goal of visiting. He maintains that he is not coming to be a burden to them (as his opponents had been accusing) but rather to be a blessing for them. He presents the image of a parent and a child. A child is not responsible to taking care of their parent but rather parents are tasked with taking care of and raising their children. In this expression, Paul shows us an example of spiritual authority that stands in stark contrast to some authoritarian regime or distant governor.

This image of spiritual authority as being a sacrificial responsibility is one that Paul speaks to many times over the course of his letters to various churches. To the Philippians he writes, “But even if I am being poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I rejoice and share my joy with you all.”

For those who find themselves in positions of spiritual authority over others, this attitude of concern and self-sacrifice is essential. We cannot dictate authority without a concern for those we lead. We have all seen and many of us have experienced the dangers of such a divorced notion of leadership. Parents who don’t live what they preach. Pastors who are more concerned with the Word in abstract than in practice. Elected officials concerned with only perpetuation of their own political clout. These things should not be. It is the model of Christ presented again in Paul’s letter to the Philippians that should be our guide in leading others: “Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant,”

This is the teaching that informs Paul’s concern for the Corinthian Christians. He says that he will most gladly be expended for their souls, for their betterment. His concern for them was so great that he would gladly give his life, his ministry, and even his very soul that their faith might increase and they draw nearer to the Lord.

Even those of us who are not in delineated ‘positions’ of spiritual authority over others can take from this a model for how to care for others. Our love for others should lead us to take a level of responsibility (even if informal) for the lives and spiritual growth of others. “I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land, so that I would not destroy it; but I found no one.” Here in His words to Ezekiel, the Lord searched for someone who would stand and put the souls of others upon their shoulders.  Who would ‘stand in the gap?’ Who is there that we can ‘stand in the gap’ for?

Before we look at what it looks like to take this kind of responsibility for others, we should be clear that this is in no way imposing some kind of leadership model on others. We cannot force any kind of top-down discipleship model without the consent of those being discipled. Even in organizational systems that create such models for discipleship (pastor-congregation) the arrangement is still somewhat artificial unless it is approved by both parties and lived out in trust. What we are looking at here is more an informal approach to caring for others. It is possible to ‘be expended’ for others without even them knowing. The words uttered in the solitude of prayer, though unknown to the one being prayed for, are no less real to the Lord. They carry as much weight as a sermon preached.

With that said, what does it look like to have our lives spent for others?

Being Expended for Someone Means Being Concerned

First and foremost, if we are to pour our lives out for another we must be concerned about their soul. This might sound obvious but it goes against the very core of our human sinfulness. We are selfish creatures. Our focus naturally reverts back to itself if not disciplined. Even when we engage with others whether it is in service or in conversation we often do it as a means to an end. We view others in the context of what they can do for us. We might never state it so crudely but it is same none the less. How often in conversation are we truly thinking beyond the words; the transfer of information and looking down the heart and asking: ‘what concerns does this person have?’

This tendency of ours is the reason Paul entreats his readers to “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” To be concerned with others is to buck the trends of our life. It means going beyond surface level communication and probing deeper into the heart.

Being Expended for Someone Means Being Observant

Naturally flowing out of a concern for others is that if we intend to be expended for someone we must be observant. Again, we naturally operate in the sphere of our own experience. On one hand, it is entirely natural. Only we and the Lord know the contents of our mind. Only two beings in all of existence can understand what we experience. We cannot completely know the entire scope of someone else’s. Like a river flowing downhill, it is the easiest course of action to focus upon what is a) able to known fully and b) is most convenient. It requires effort to learn about others. We have to stop thinking about ourselves. We have to ask questions. Sometimes we, God forbid, have to be quiet and listen. We have to put ourselves aside; our own thoughts, and fill our world with the concerns, fears, ambitions, and thoughts of others. We have to set ourselves aside for the moment to pay attention the life of another.

Paul did this with the Corinthians. He used the communication medium of his time to write them letters to communicate, yes, but also to be involved in the lives of these newly minted congregants. Beyond that he sent his close colleague Titus to them to minister and to be actively involved in their lives (v18).

Played out in real life, this level of observation means being present in conversation. It means listening more and speaking less.  The author of Proverbs writes: “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” If we are truly concerned with the souls of others we will put ourselves aside long enough to humbly observe.

Being Expended for Someone Means Being in Prayer

We must understand that no matter our level of concern or how much we understand another person we lack the capacity to affect real change in their life. Even our greatest efforts are a mere drop in the bucket of the ocean of their lives. Only the Lord can a) know the full scope of their life b) know His plan for their life and c) have the power to affect lasting change. With that understood, our concern over the lives of others should drive us to our knees in prayer. Interestingly, this step of being poured out for others is the only one that can be done without any involvement at all with the other party. Paul again models this for us in his letter to the Thessalonians, “To this end we pray for you always, that our God would count you worthy of your calling, and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power,”

This is where the rubber meets the road in being expended for someone. We can have the best intentions but in our own power we are incapable of affecting real change. Only through prayer are we able to bring about real and lasting change to another’s life. There is no element of prayer in which we can bring glory to ourselves. It is between us and the Lord that this transaction takes place. In other areas of caring for others it might be possible to fake, to an extent, good intentions but in the closet of prayer there is no pretension. Here alone, all is laid bare before the face of God. Here is the altar upon which we pour our prayer; our tears out to the Lord on behalf of others. Here is where the greatest amount of our energy should be focused. “Pray without ceasing” Paul exhorts. If we truly want to have an impact in the lives of others, this is where it begins. We confess our weakness, our complete inability, and lay our friends before the Most Holy, All-Powerful God.

Being Expended for Someone Means Being Willing to Sacrifice

The true test of our resolve to ‘stand in the gap’ for another is whether we are willing to sacrifice our comfort, financial assets, or desires for the benefit of someone else. This is the truth that underpins all else. Are we willing to sacrifice our self-focused existence to be concerned for and observe the life of another? Are we willing to pour ourselves out in prayer for the blessing of another? We must be willing and actively listening for the voice of the Holy Spirit to lead us to steps of action in the lives of others. We must be willing to follow through with action (never move beyond) the prayers we prayed before God. We must be willing to sacrifice something of ourselves, whatever that may look like for the benefit of others. This is where distant concern dies. We are to be involved, in some regard, with the life of another. This looks vastly different in different situations. In some, the level of interaction and sacrifice might be infinitesimally small.

Consider Jesus’ command to pray for those who persecute you. The sacrifice involved here is the sacrifice of pride; the sacrifice of bitterness and anger. It might mean having a more gentle spirit with our oppressors. Even here there is a sacrifice for another’s benefit.

In each situation there will be a level at which we must be willing to give up a piece of ourselves for the blessing of others. It may be time. It may be attention. It certainly will be prayer. It may be financial. Whatever the sacrifice, know this: it will cost us something. It will cost us something to put aside our needs to pay attention to the needs of others. It will hurt to admit our powerlessness to heal their hurts. It will cost us something to take upon ourselves the concerns of others. As I am constantly remind by the Lord: what if I am the only one concerned with that person? What if (and this is a very real possibility) I am the only human being on earth specifically praying for that person? Am I willing to sacrifice myself for them; to give of myself, even if in an invisible way, that they might know the Lord or that their wounds might be healed?

This is where we leave the pretense of religion aside and follow the example of our Lord who did this very thing for us.

I suggest that we start with five people. They may be people you already have some ‘institutionalized’ responsibility for (small groups, husband, wife, children, congregation) or they may not be. Start with five people who you are willing to be spent for. Concern yourself with them. Observe them. Pray for them. Be willing to sacrifice yourself for them as the Spirit leads. Remember that we love others because Christ first loved us and gave Himself sacrificially for us. That is why we serve. That is why we love. That is why we sacrifice. There is no glory to be gained from false sacrifice. The only glory given is to the Lord when He works his blessings in the lives of others.