Identities: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I’ll be honest; I want to be a grump. It’s kind of my dream to hole up somewhere with a window, a bed, and a pad of paper and basically become a cantankerous old man (my friends have been calling me an old man since I was 21). I’d write all day, drink strong tea, get acclaimed (by the right literary communities), and function on my own terms. Were this confluence of events to occur, my eccentricities would be viewed as quirks rather than antisocial tendencies; my desire for pattern and routine would be a quaint author’s note rather than symptoms of endemic pride.

We all have identities that we adopt to excuse our behaviors. Though they may be rooted in our distinct personalities, we so often use them to justify our selfish ambitions. How often do we hear someone referred to as a “driven person” when what they really want to say is that they’re inconsiderate? I know that I will over-emphasize my need for “alone” time when I don’t’ really want to bother engaging with others. I can’t begin to explain how many days I come home from work dejected or read the news and my only desire is to drive off, abandon human civilization, and begin a new life deep in the forest.

The life of the believer is to be one defined by a pattern of imitating Christ. If I am to emulate the habits and behaviors demonstrated in the life of Jesus then I must be willing to sacrifice all of my life including my personality and preferences. Of course, we are not meant to become automatons devoid of personality (we are created uniquely in Christ’s image, after all) but we must also be willing to lay everything, our habits and our preferences on the altar. In our lives we acquire many identities but none of them should trump our service to Christ.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,”

“I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord,”

Jesus’ example is one of self-denial for the sake of the Father’s will. If we are to be His disciples, then we too, must deny ourselves to take on Christ. My desire to retreat from society must be brought in subjection to Christ’s command to go out into all the world and make disciples of all nations. My selfish desires must be abandoned in putting on that attitude of Him who made Himself nothing when He deserved to be everything.

In truth I sometimes feel like an old man. Yet in my behavior I display all the reckless conceit of a child. If I am to progress toward complete sanctification I (and all of us) must lay down everything for the sake of Him who called me: the good, the bad, and the ugly.