This morning during worship service at my church I sat in
front of the absolute worst singer I’ve ever heard. Hardly a single note was on
key. I’m not a particularly musical person myself but I feel like I can hold my
own with my voice, such as it is, but this woman was rough. I had to fight back
the urge to turn around and look her in the eyes. To be honest I didn’t want to
match a face to the voice. I was already being pretty critical and I didn’t
want to judge her every time I saw her. At one point I wasn’t even aware of the
band or of the congregation singing. All that surrounded me was a sea of
cringe-inducing vocal exercises. This woman was ruining my experience and
disrupting my world
Lately I’ve been really troubled with the notion that
Christians are brothers and sisters. See, I’m an only child without any cousins
so I grew up in a very small circle of family. When I became a Christian and
started getting acquainted with the rituals, routines, and eccentricities of
church life I came to view gatherings as services. In an array of leadership
capacities I learned to plan events and schedule the elements of worship:
songs, prayers, sermons. Ingrained in me has been the desire to iron out the wrinkles
and deficiencies. The wandering warbler sitting behind me was definitely a
wrinkle.
It’s so easy to fall into an attitude of performance that
takes us away from the truth of the matter: namely that believers in Christ are
brothers and sisters in Christ. We are family. My lack of close family; of
siblings, has always tripped me up in this regard. But the Bible repeatedly
calls us to view each other in such terms. It is enmeshed in the language of
the epistles. We have been adopted by the Lord into a family of aliens and
strangers. We have been brought from a life of sin into a new life in Christ. Our
old lives are dead and we live new lives in a new reality; a new family. We are
not simply people who happen to be in the same place at the same time. How
would we respond differently to our worship services if we could view them as
family gatherings? How would we respond to our differences if we didn’t view
our relationships as disposable but rather built upon the bonds of family? I
have an inkling that we would be a little quicker to give each other grace; that
we would be a bit more willing to gloss over arguments and controversies; that
if we knew we had to live together at the end of the day we might be more
inclined to talk to each other and really care about what our friends are
saying--- because those are the things that you do for family--- or should.
When the person in need is a brother or a sister or cousin, you go a little
farther; you dig a little deeper; you sacrifice more to their benefit. If those
are the things that are true of biological families how much more should that
be true for those of us who follow Christ; who have chosen by our own wills to
enter into a new family?
If I can see the person in the pew next to me as my brother;
as one chosen and redeemed by Christ, then maybe I can bring myself to actually
talk to him and actually care about what’s
going on in his life instead of simply shaking his hand during ‘fellowship’ time.
If I can see my pastor as a brother entrusted by God with particular skills and
a particular calling, then maybe I won’t view him with cynicism and mistrust.
If the teens in the back row aren’t just loud, annoying, and frustrating
strangers but instead my sons and daughters, nieces and nephews then perhaps I
can find it in myself to be a model for them, to give them the grace that Jesus
gives them. If only I saw our worship services as family reunions rather than
sterile exercise then maybe I’d feel less alone; maybe I’d be more willing to
open myself up; maybe I could feel peace among friends. If only…
The song is ending. There is an acapella chorus. I am
overwhelmed by the droning voice behind me. I turn to look my sister in the eye
so I’ll never view her as a stranger again. If only I can see her as family
then maybe I can sit through another song.
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